The Man Who Cried

Johnny Depp has never made a bad movie, except for one, Benny and Joon . I will see any movie if Johnny Depp is in it, as long as its title is not Benny and Joon . That's not to say that all of his movies are good , because many of them are not, it's just that none of them are ever bad, except for Benny and Joon .

Yes, Blow was a MAJOR disappointment, and The Ninth Gate was on the verge of pathetic, (Roman Polanski's fault) but neither was really all that bad. To illustrate my point, in the cases of both afore mentioned disasters, I can say at least, that I watched the whole movie ; I'd just rather not watch them ever again.

Some might say that Mr. Depp has never been in a bad movie because his acting and fiendish good looks make a movie worth watching.

This may be true; Depp is a good actor and a damn good looking man. But let's face it, he's no Meryl Streep and he's not as good looking as Marisa Tomei, who by the way, is the best looking human alive.

No, it's not his looks and his acting that keep his movies afloat, but it's Depp's nose for quality and his systematic rejection of blockbuster success that have truly been the guiding light of his remarkable career.

Slow. Let me start by saying that The Man Who Cried is slow. In fact, it is so slow that by my watch, it took Johnny Depp fifty six minutes to utter his first line. In fact, I think his horse shat twice before he said a single word.

Yes, slow is a word I use to describe a movie like this. One of the pivotal scenes of the movie is one where Christina Ricci cleans up horse scat, how's that for intrigue?

Eventually, as happens in all movies set in the 40's, the Nazis show up to spice up the otherwise directionless plot. Then, predictably, just as things start to get interesting, the movie comes to an abrupt end.

In short: This movie is worth watching, once , and only once, if only to see John Turturro dressed as Jesus and lip syncing the hymns of the Kronos Quartet. Oh, and you might like looking at Christina Ricci's fabulous gams. While visible only for a moment, they are truly a sight to behold. You also might admire Cate Blanchette's extremely seductive good looks. Yes, I know I certainly did.

And one other thing, Harry Dean Stanton is in this movie. It's a small part, but an important one nonetheless. I'd see any movie with Harry Dean Stanton in it, no exceptions.